Category Walk on the Wild Side

The QB to Defend the Planet: The Finalists

Who would you pick to defend the planet in a science fiction  football game? Photo by Frankula.
Who would you pick to defend the planet in a science fiction football game? Photo by Frankula.

Chris Trapasso (with some Waldman sarcasm) tallies the votes and reveals the finalists for who we’d pick to defend our planet in a game with an alien race.

 

By Chris Trapasso and Matt Waldman

The scenario is simple, albeit nutty: If an alien race invades earth and challenges the human race to a football game for the right to the planet, which quarterback from any era of history would we choose to defend our planet?

The follow-up question to this piece of science fiction included us picking a college passer just in case the aliens wouldn’t allow us to pick a current pro or all-time pro that they could reanimate to his prime.

The Twitter/RSP population has spoken.

There was an overwhelming favorite, but let’s start with some fun tidbits from the selection process.
  • Clemson’s Tajh Boyd received as many votes as Drew Brees and Tim Tebow (1) –   These three votes span the entire quality spectrum of the position. As well as the range of our voters’ survival instincts. 
  • Wyoming’s Brett Smith, earned the same number of votes as Dan Marino – Smith, who is slowly but surely falling into the “overrated because he’s so underrated” category among draftniks, received two votesthe same as Marino. Both have fast releases and can maneuver a pocket. Marino was just far more efficient at doing so. Personally we think the votes for Smith were to create a “Cowboys vs. Aliens” headline. No dice.
  • Jimmy Garoppolo earned one more vote than Joe Namath – Making good on guarantees doesn’t mean much anymore. I supposed that has to do with us being products of an informercial generation. Garoppolo captured more votes than Steve Young and Ben Roethlisberger. Good thing these were minority votes, we’d be enslaved by now.
  • College QBs were easier to pick than the NFL – The variety of great NFL quarterbacks split the vote for the pro player far more than the college passers. This is why players like Drew Brees, Ben Roethlisberger, Steve Young, and even some of our NFL finalists received fewer votes than middling college players above.
Now that we’ve finished profiling the voters who wanted to a chance to live free of alien rule, enslavement, or total annihlation, one man triumphantly stood out among his fellow gun-slinging peers— Johnny Manziel. 
 
Manziel earned a whopping 40 votes out of a possible 88. Louisville’s Teddy Bridgewater was Manziel’s closest competitor, prospect or not, with 19 votes. 
 
These two  talented youngsters have yet to take a snap in the NFL. However, folks must have watched Manziel against Alabama and figured if he could hold his own against the Crimson tide, he could stare down an alien A-gap blitz. Plus, we have our suspicions that Nick Saban is an alien spy.
Manziel and Bridgewater represent two of the three college finalists. Blake Bortles earned the third spot (the play-not-to-lose GM vote). We’ll be shocked if Manziel doesn’t win the college vote. However, the NFL/All-time vote is still up for grabs.
 
Rookie QBs
Johnny Manziel (40 votes)
Teddy Bridgewater (19 votes)
Blake Bortles (7 votes)
All-Time or Current QBs
Joe Montana (14 votes)
Peyton Manning (11 votes)
Brett Favre (6 votes)
Matt will profile the pros and cons for each and hold a vote for the final two.

How to Find Your Mercedes: A Lesson to “Anonymous”

Best Louisville prospect in this draft? Maybe, but don't give the short end of the stick to the Cardinals' safety Calvin Pryor. Photo by KYNGPAO
Teddy Bridgewater. Photo by KYNGPAO

A lesson for the anonymous NFC executive who can’t find the right car in a parking lot.

In case you didn’t know–or missed it–I’m fortunate to join Cecil Lammey, Sigmund Bloom, and Jene Bramel on Thursdays for the live Audible podcast that is now a Hangout (at bottom of page).  Last week’s 52-minute show covers topics from the NFL Draft:

  • Buy/Sell QB News
  • Match Game: “What Would Bloom Say?”
  • My rant on NFL executives and their discomfort with Teddy Bridgewater.

Funny how a this rant came a week before an NFL executive said that Bridgewater is soft. Just a word of advice to the anonymous NFC executive: If you want to disguise your discomfort with drafting an intelligent, dark-skinned black man as the leader of your offense, I suggest you find another criticism.

Bridgewater took some big hits during his career and never went into a shell. You clearly need an education. I suggest you travel down the hall to those offices that have the word “Scout” on the name plate and ask them to show you tape of this Rutgers game where Bridgewater comes off the bench with a broken wrist and a badly sprained ankle on his plant leg to lead a comeback against Rutgers.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/1ELPwI9_y5U]

Bridgewater put his team in the Sugar Bowl with this effort where he later stomped a top-ranked Florida defense that smacked him around early on.

I have to presume that you’re a product of rampant nepotism, otherwise you would have never used Byron Leftwich as an example of being soft. The former Jaguars’ starter may have had his share of issues on the field, but getting bent into a pretzel and coming back for more was never one of them.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/Oa1JhHcGD7g]

Leftwich was a top-10 pick – a good example that there are NFL organizations willing to invest in a high pick on a pocket quarterback of color.

As for you, anonymous NFC executive, it must be tough for you when you continue to mistake the Hyundai with your Mercedes in your parking lot (same paint color and all . . .). Let me help you:

Hyundai by Visual Pun.
Hyundai by Visual Pun.

 

Mercedes by Ahmad Hashim.
Mercedes by Ahmad Hashim.

One more time . . .

Hyundai - a pretty nice car that will get you from A to B . . .  (Photo by Seng1011)
Hyundai – a pretty nice car that will get you from A to B . . . (Photo by Seng1011)
Best Louisville prospect in this draft? Maybe, but don't give the short end of the stick to the Cardinals' safety Calvin Pryor. Photo by KYNGPAO
Mercedes – a car that will get you to A to B with high performance. Photo by KYNGPAO

I know it’s difficult to tell the difference. Keep looking at the visuals of them in action and let someone else do the drafting for you until you figure it out.

For the rest of you, here’s the Hangout (Bridgewater part at 22-minute mark):

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61h5fKkn2oY&feature=share]

Player-Coach: Questioning Process vs. Questioning Authority

Photo by Mike Mozart.
There are a lot of great coaches in football, but there are also the “Cartman’s.” Photo by Mike Mozart.

It’s not often discussed, but the quality of coaching and leadership adds another layer of complexity to evaluating prospects.

One of the great things about the Internet – specifically social media – is having conversations with people who don’t go with the herd. Ryan Riddle is one of those individuals. So when my friend says outside linebacker Kyle Van Noy has great instincts, that’s a player I want to watch.

If you didn’t know already, Riddle was a defensive end at Cal who had stints with the Raiders, Ravens, and Jets. He weaves his experiences with major college football and the NFL into his coverage of the pro football at Bleacher Report.

The other night, Riddle and I were engaged in a conversation about teaching and coaching. Riddle told me that there are a lot of layers within the teacher-student dynamic on a football team that the general public doesn’t consider.

One of these layers is how a position coach teaches technique to his players. Dolphins’ receiver Mike Wallace told media at the Senior Bowl that he didn’t have any technical instruction at his position during his first three years at Ole Miss. Riddle will tell you that his defensive line coach was exacting about technique.

Good coaches know that the most efficient way for players to execute on the field is to have the right tools. So while it may be task-oriented thinking at its finest, a coach’s first inclination is to hammer home good form.

Even at the highest level of any profession, the best maintain an understanding of the fundamentals. However, the best at any profession know when to break the rules.

It’s a tough situation for a coach – especially for some of the less experienced coaches who didn’t play the position they’re teaching and may not have mastery of the unwritten rules. Even if that coach is a former grizzled vet at the position he’s teaching, he may lack the vision to recognize productive creativity that veers from basic technique.

Riddle was a creative player with NFL-level athleticism, but his coach was drilling home technique with such exactitude that it clashed with what Riddle did best. In most cases, technique should refine what a player does well rather than limit him.

Unlike many players who fear questioning the coach on this matter, Riddle was fortunate. Even when they initially butted heads in practice about playing style, Riddle and his coach always got along.

Riddle’s coach eventually realized he had a potential exception to the rule on his defensive line. Still, he had to tread a fine line between allowing behavior that could help the team and setting the ground rules that he had final say if Riddle’s way wasn’t working.

Riddle is an example of a productive relationship between a player and coach despite conflict over fundamentals. Although football is a sport where the ultimate goal is to win a conflict, the process of doing so is built on teamwork.

It’s why disagreeing with a coach on a fundamental level the way Riddle did isn’t common. Some of Riddle’s teammates had similar gripes that they kept private, even if it meant the possibility that they’re productivity could have been better for the team. It’s is a difficult thing for people to understand how slippery a slope it is for a player to have differences with a position coach.

There are good and bad coaches just as there are good and bad CEOs, doctors, teachers, and football players. If a position coach is an insecure human being who uses his role to prop up his self-esteem, a young player challenging instruction can pose a serious threat.

As with any profession, good coaches don’t always become good coaches until they’ve been bad coaches. Manage teams of people for any length of time and there will be moments where one can mistake the difference between a player questioning a process and a player questioning authority.

Good leaders understand the difference. However, there are coaches who can’t handle either scenario.

If you ever wonder why some NFL players who seem like good citizens and even better teammates were – in hindsight – puzzling late-round picks, it’s worth considering that some of these players weren’t “difficult to coach,” “soft,” “bi-polar,” or “didn’t love the game,” as their coaches characterized them to scouts.  Greg Hardy, Terrell Davis, and Arian Foster had legitimate gripes about college coaches engaged in character assassination to NFL scouts.

Riddle says there’s a tendency for coaches to over correct the small points of the game. He’s seen it to the extent that when players accept the criticism, they over think on the job and play too slow. They don’t realize that they’ve become more worried about pleasing the coach to avoid risking a bad reputation than making the play.

In Riddle’s case, his position coach sat Riddle down and talked about it. The coach told the defensive end that he was fine with Riddle’s methods, “but it better work.”

In tomorrow’s Futures at Football Outsiders, I explore why Riddle describes Van Noy as “a linebacker version of Tyrann Mathieu.”

Stay tuned.

Funny Thing Happened at the Senior Bowl . . .

Photo by Henning Bulka.
Photo by Henning Bulka.

Only I didn’t get the full extent of the punchline until this evening.

Media Night at the Senior Bowl is a loosely organized event. Imagine four long life rafts filled with sailors in a sea filled with twice as many sharks. In case you’re not too swift on the uptake this evening, the sharks aren’t the football players.

If you’re media, you can either wait for a Senior Bowl PR intern to track down the player you want to interview and bring that player to you (the fish move) or you can hunt them down yourself. Unless I don’t know what the player looks like, I don’t bother with the PR staff.

Halfway through my list of interviews was Lorenzo Taliaferro. The Coastal Carolina running back was seated at a table with a few other guys when I approached him for an interview. Before Taliaferro could respond, a player seating across from him interjected.

“Excuse me, I’d like to interview him first.”

I didn’t recognize the player. He had closed cropped hair and he sported a thin mustache with some chin fuzz. His skin was the shade of mocha.

The player leaned across the table towards Taliaferro holding his phone like a tape recorder.

“Uh, hold on a second . . . this is uh . . . my first time interviewing anyone. I can’t seem to get this recorder to work, can you help me?”

I take a seat next to Taliaferro and watch this guy fumble around with his phone. I can appreciate football players making fun of the media. The first press conference I attended as a student was an after-practice interview with former Georgia coach Ray Goff over 20 years ago.

I brought an old Marantz recorder with me – a device meant more for transcribing music than recording interviews. It was the only thing I had.

When I hit the record button, I had the volume too high and feedback blared through the beginning of the press conference. Some reporters laughed, others seemed horrified, and Goff stared a hole through me.

I didn’t ask the coach any questions for the next two weeks. I thought it was best I let that incident fade away.

This mock malfunction of the recorder didn’t dissuade this player-turned-intrepid-beat-reporter to furrow his brow and fire off a facetious, nonsensical question.

“My first question is . . . how is it going to feel to when you get on the field this Saturday, get the ball, square your opponent, and blast his ass?”

The combination of the tone, the expression, and the words were perfect. I couldn’t help but laugh. His teammates were doubled over.

“And what does ‘blast his ass mean’ anyway?”

At this point, the player leaned back in his chair and indicated I had the next set of questions. If I didn’t have three more receivers on my list that I wanted to interview for a story I posted on technique, I would have asked this guy for an interview.  He would have been a great source for “crazy things reporters say” material.

Considering I listened to a local reporter ask wide receiver Kevin Norwood if he “hoped to run a 4.7” and then tell Norwood he thought the time sounded pretty fast to him after Norwood said he “hoped not, 4.7 is a slow time,” I don’t have to imagine.

At the end of the night, I told Jene Bramel and Cecil Lammey about the player making fun of reporters. I could only describe him as bigger guy who looked like he could either be a small lineman or bigger linebacker. Since I only study offensive skill players, I don’t recognize all the defensive players at the game.

I saw him again tonight, February 9, 2014. He was telling the world that he is gay. His teammates at Missouri knew all year.

Humor is one of the great signs of intelligence. The funniest people I’ve known or have read about often had to contend with some serious shit in life.

Michael Sam, you’re one funny dude. Good luck out there.

Footballguys Playoff Challenge

This year’s contest will award a record-smashing $150,000 Grand Prize and $500,000 in total guaranteed cash prizes, all based on a $200 entry fee. 

Footballguys.com and the FFPC present: The World Famous Playoff Challenge, the largest and most exciting playoff contest in all of fantasy football. This year’s contest will award a record-smashing $150,000 Grand Prize and $500,000 in total guaranteed cash prizes, all based on a $200 entry fee. This is the ONLY way to watch playoff football!

Who: The Footballguys Playoff Challenge is an online tournament presented by Footballguys.com and the FFPC.

When: Registration for the Footballguys Playoff Challenge is now underway – click HERE to sign up. The deadline to finalize your team is right before the kickoff of the first Wild Card playoff game at 4:15 PM Eastern Time on January 4, 2014.

How to Enter: The entry fee into the Footballguys Playoff Challenge is $200 per team. Registration is quick and easy. Entrants may register online with a credit card and you may enter as many times as you wish.

Prize Structure: The $150,000 Grand Prize as well as the entire $500,000 Footballguys Playoff Challenge prize structure is fully guaranteed. The full prize structure with payout amounts is listed below.

2013/2014 Playoff Challenge Prize Structure:
(all prizes fully guaranteed regardless of number of entries)

PLACE PRIZE
1st $150,000 Grand Prize
2nd $35,000
3rd $15,000
4th $10,000
5th $9,000
6th $8,000
7th $7,500
8th $7,500
9th $7,000
10th $6,000
11th $5,000
12th $5,000
13th $4,500
14th $4,500
15th $4,000
16th $3,500
17th $3,500
18th $3,000
19th $3,000
20th $3,000
21st to 30th $2,500 each
31st to 50th $1,500 each
51st to 70th $1,000 each
71st to 100th $750 each
101st to 150th $500 each
151st to 250th $400 each
251st to 350th $300 each
351st to 450th $200 each

 

Footballguys Players Championship Game Format: Choose an FFPC lineup (1QB 2RB 2WR 1TE 2FLEX[RB/WR/TE] 1K 1D/ST) of any 10 players from the 12 NFL playoff teams to create your team – but you may only choose ONE player or defense per NFL team. Your entire roster will score points each week of the NFL playoffs based on the FFPC scoring rules, and all points scored in the Super Bowl will be DOUBLED. Read on for more details.

Free Agents: There will be no free agency in the Footballguys Players Championship – the team you select prior to the kickoff of the first NFL Wild Card game will remain your team through the end of the contest.

Roster/Scoring: The Footballguys Playoff Challenge starting lineup allows for two (2) flex positions, also known as the Dual-Flex. The scoring system gives 1 point per reception for RBs & WRs but also gives 1.5 points per reception for TEs, putting extra weight to the TE position. Action scoring is implemented for all TDs: any TD scored by a player is scored as 6 points to that individual player, in addition to any D/ST scoring that may apply. Stat errors will be automatically corrected using Elias Sports Bureau.

Starting Roster

  • 1 QB
  • 2 RBs
  • 2 WRs
  • 1 TE
  • 2 flex players (RB/WR/TE)
  • 1 K
  • 1 D/ST

Scoring System

  • 4 points for passing TDs, 6 points for all other TDs
  • 0.05 point for every 1 yard passing
  • 0.1 point for every 1 yard rushing or receiving
  • 1 point per reception for RBs and WRs
  • 1.5 points per reception for TEs
  • 3 points for every FG of 1 – 30 yards plus 0.1 point for every yard thereafter
  • 1 point for D/ST sack, 2 points for all turnovers
  • 6 points for all D/ST touchdowns
  • 5 points for every safety
  • 12 points for every shutout
  • 8 points for allowing between 1 – 6 points
  • 5 points for allowing between 7 – 10 points

League Software: RTSports.com provides live scoring and live leaderboards for this contest.

2013 Fantasy Soundtracks

Team Riddle selects Rob Gronkowski to lead off his draft. Photo by JDN.
Lamont Sanford to Sinead O’Connor? Keep reading… Photo by JDN.

Intro

Bloom and I not only grew up as the original members of the MTV Generation, but we were also the first audience of the summer movie blockbuster. From an early age it has been ingrained in us that music is a part of the story line of our lives. If you’re one of us who remembers things like Poison Arrow, Fish Heads, Headbanger’s Ball, and Martha’s Muffin, then you also remember making mixed tapes for your friends – especially girlfriends.

I was a musician in a previous life. In college I used to watch Raiders’ games with my roommate’s synthesizer at the edge of the couch so I could play sound effects of bombs dropping whenever James Jett went deep:

[youtube=http://youtu.be/y6EU_l06GwM]

Bloom lived a soundtrack as a Phishhead. Put the two of us together and it’s only a matter of time before we have to inject music into the football conversation. It only made sense that our 2013 season preview would be a soundtrack and mixed tape set to YouTube videos.

However, Einstein is the only video you’re going to see on this post due to account rights with YouTube that prevent us from embedding music here. Still, we’re providing links to each song and they will open in a separate window so you can have a soundtrack as you read our takes on players and their outlook for the year. This is us blowing off steam with two mixed tapes.

Album I, Side A: “It’s always Tease, Tease, Tease” [The Clash]

Should I stay or should I go now? . . . Should I stay or should I go now? . . . If I go there will be trouble . . . An if I stay it will be double . . . Come on and let me know . . . Should I cool it or should I blow?

Who better than the Clash to sum up the angst fantasy owners feel about so many players? They draw us in with talent so seductive and intoxicating that we stick around even after getting burned. Yet even as the logic of giving them another try wears thin, the promise of “what could be” is almost too great to resist – even when you know better.

It seems you always find yourself staring at their name on draft day and wishing you knew what to do. Bloom and I would love to intervene, but we’re too busy exorcising our own player-demons or giving it one more chance with the hope we’re not crying in our beer in December.

(Bloom) Track 1: QB Josh Freeman – My Minds Got a Mind Of Its Own  [phish]

Maybe it’s his mechanics. Maybe it’s that he was in a new system. Maybe it’s his unwillingness to rely on his legs as often as he did earlier in his career. Or, maybe Josh Freeman is just as baffled by his inconsistent play as we are. His mind prompts him to make throws that are incomprehensible. Last year, he looked like a QB1 until he cratered with eight interceptions in the all-important weeks 15 and 16. Think twice before you add Freeman this year.

(Waldman) Track 2: RB Maurice Jones-Drew –  We Had Joy, We had Fun . . .  [terry Jacks]

He was a huge reason I won my first experts’ league. Using a Studs and Duds strategy, winning Jones-Drew’s services for a mere $1 was the bargain of all bargains. Watching him duel with Chris Johnson a few years ago was one of the most fun showcases of two running backs in a game that I have ever seen. The Jaguars’ little teapot has been an RB1 for most of his seven-year career and a cornerstone for many fantasy champions. Despite averaging at least 4.7 yards per carry the past two seasons, the familiar tug to get on board the S.S. Jones-Drew is there but my feet won’t leave the dock – even at a bargain price as the 23rd pick/RB15.

But he has taken a pounding and without a proven quarterback to keep defenses from crowding the line of scrimmage and daring the Jaguars to throw, I’d rather be a year too early than a year too late. Terry Jacks says it best: “Good-bye my friend it’s hard to die when all the birds are singing in the sky . . . but the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time.”

(Bloom) Track 3: RB Darren McFaddenWon’t Get Fooled Again [The who]

Keep your “contract year” and “zone blocking scheme was holding him back” arguments. Oakland’s offense looks like a dumpster-fire without left tackle Jared Veldheer for a good part of the season. Matt Flynn is a backup quarterback and Terrelle Pryor isn’t even a backup-quality passer. Even if McFadden had a spotless durability record, it would be tough to like him this year.

(Waldman) Track 4: RB Ryan MathewsCold Shot [Stevie Ray Vaughan]

Mathews isn’t just singing this song to fantasy owners; he’s belting the lyrics to a standing room only audience in his locker room. The Fresno State runner is a borderline rare talent. If you’ve truly seen Mathews at his best then you know what I mean: exploits small creases, makes adroit cuts that kill defenders’ angles, a third gear to outrun corners, and rare balance against hits from first-level defenders.  It’s one thing to lower the pads and truck a defender straight-on; it’s a completely different story when a defensive lineman with a good angle and plenty of steam gets his pads into the side of a running back’s thigh and slides off like butter on a hot skillet tilted sideways.

I saw Mathews do this enough times that I thought I was in this fantasy football relationship for the long haul. But the rare skills couched in boneheaded acts of immaturity has reached the point that I can’t make any more excuses. It doesn’t help that Danny Woodhead (DANNY WOODHEAD?!!!) is the player the Chargers are relying on as much as Mathews. It shows just how far this once-promising fantasy situation has gone down the tubes.

Mathews says his NFL career to this point as merely been “average” and while I like the attempt at honesty, the fact that he can’t bring himself to say his career has been below average to his first-round expectations tells me that he’s still in denial about not only what he has done, but he truly doesn’t realize how good he can be. If he doesn’t believe in himself, then how can I?

I still want to believe because I see glimpses every week he plays. But by game’s end, watching him is a cold shot.

(Bloom) Mathews Alternate take:  It Ain’t No Use [Stevie Wonder]

Mathews may be looking good in camp and the preseason, but it ain’t no use. I’m done – at least while he’s running behind maybe the worst offensive line in the league. The new regime doesn’t have the draft pick or emotional investment in Mathews and you shouldn’t, either. I’m not saying that Mathews won’t have some big plays and games, but he’ll also frustrate with injuries and lost games as the Chargers struggle.

Read the rest at Footballguys

Eddie Lacy and Why I Prefer Talent Over Situation

I prefer evaluating talent to ranking players. There's a difference. Photo by Mike Pettigano.
Eddie Lacy is an example why I prefer evaluating talent to ranking players. There’s a difference. Photo by Mike Pettigano.

Eddie Lacy was my top back in the 2013 class before the NFL Draft. After the draft, I dropped him to fourth in behind Giovani Bernard, Le’Veon Bell, and Marcus Lattimore. Why? The three factors that we learned that caused NFL teams to drop him on their draft boards:

  1. Lacy was so out of shape in pre-draft workouts that he had to cut the workouts short.
  2. Concern about Lacy’s toe injury caused the Broncos and Steelers pick another option despite their need for a lead back.
  3. Concern that Lacy’s personality – which isn’t all-football, all the time – meant he didn’t have the emotional makeup of a good football player.

When I downgraded Lacy in my post-draft publication, I only knew about the first two concerns. If I knew about the third one I would have ignored it because it’s ridiculous. More on that one later.

As a football talent evaluator, I dislike post-draft rankings. I understand their value, but I’m a talent purist at heart. I prefer to examine what a player can do; what he can’t; and project what he might be able to learn. Character, situation, and injury are factors that more often than not require an investigator, a coach, and a doctor to discuss with any level of expertise and even then there’s a lot of speculation.

Unless I was with a team and creating a real draft board, I have little use for the non-football stuff. It’s water-cooler talk.

Headlining the virtual break room was infamous camp photo of Lacy where he looked more like B.J. Raji wearing a running back jersey number and wig as a prank. I thought we were going to need to add a photography expert to the mix of the collective medical and psychological speculation about things that have little to do with his on-field performance.

As a fan and a fantasy owner, it was five minutes of compelling information to consider. I was sucked in. As an author of a publication that evaluates talent from a long-term standpoint, I was glad it went away as fast as it arrived.

These non-football factors are also why the idea of people ranking talent analysts is problematic at best. Does one judge a talent evaluator by his ranking of the player or by the commentary? I think the substance of the analysis is far more important than the number. If you think I’m a good or bad evaluator because of the accuracy of rankings that have more more dynamics than annual re-draft rankings in fantasy football, then you’re missing value of what those in the profession of football evaluation provide to readers.

Lacy is one of many examples why I think the pre-draft RSP remains as valuable as the post-draft publication. The pre-draft publication is about talent. The post-draft incorporates fit and to a lesser extent draft stock. Like it or not, a player’s draft grade often dictates his initial opportunity.

And because the NFL is a hyper-competitive environment with high turnover due to age and injury, it’s understandable why most media and fans have a “what have you done for me lately” philosophy embedded within their takes on player potential. Even if it’s often the wrong perspective to have.

The concern about Lacy’s toe injury was based on surgery prior to his 2012 season. From what I saw, it didn’t stop Lacy from tearing holes through college defenses. True, it’s a possibility that Lacy hurts the toe again and is never the same player and he may have a shorter career span than Montee Ball, but if the speculation is that Lacy only plays three years to Ball’s five I’d prefer the better player over a shorter period of time.

Even if that player burns out his body sooner, management is making that player’s position a stronger priority in the off-season.

The issue that troubles me most about these takes that emerged after the draft about Lacy. The idea that teams passed on Lacy because running back doesn’t love football and teams were concerned about his work ethic or mental toughness. I’d be shocked if even 10 percent of the true decision makers involved with passing on Lacy have ever experienced a remote amount of hardship that he has.

Try losing everything you own after a hurricane strikes your town. Do you think you’d struggle with the trauma of starting over? Moving to a new city with nothing? Living with people you didn’t know in conditions that are far from luxury? If you think eight years is a long time to still be dealing with it all then odds are likely you need to get back to me 10-15 years after you can walk into a bar and order a drink. Then we can having a meaningful conversation.

Football wouldn’t be the first thing on my mind. Nor would it make me happy in light of these events. An outlet for my frustration and anger? Oh yeah. Happiness? You’ve got to be kidding me.

Some people say you have to love football with a passion to perform at the highest level. I agree it’s the easiest way to tell that a person is going to do the hard work to succeed. It’s just not the only way. If you want to live by the probabilities of templates, formulas, and prototypes then you’ll be right more often than you’re wrong. But you’ll also miss a lot of exceptional cases that make a true difference in shaping how we look at the world.

As a talent purist, Lacy’s skill excites me, but I dreaded having to use non-football events to rank him.  Fast forward to Lacy’s performance this weekend and many of these concerns were sliding off him like Rams defenders. He looked like Marion Motley with a spin move. Whether or not he has a successful career, I’m happy that in a few weeks most of the speculation about Lacy (and many other prospects) will reach the beginning of the end on the field of play.

For analysis of skill players in this year’s draft class, download the 2013 Rookie Scouting Portfolio available now. Better yet, if you’re a fantasy owner the 56-page Post-Draft Add-on comes with the 2013 RSP at no additional charge and available for download within a week after the NFL Draft. Best, yet, 10 percent of every sale is donated to Darkness to Light to combat sexual abuse. You can purchase past editions of the Rookie Scouting Portfolio for just $9.95 apiece.

Walk on The Wildside: Hernandez, Deen, Paulette, and Orcas

Lives wasted. Photo by Patriotworld.
Lives wasted. Photo by Patriotworld.

Author’s Note: This is not safe for work. 

I’m not a preacher, a politician, or an executive. I don’t say all the right things. It definitely applies here.

Let’s start with Aaron Hernandez’s arrest on first-degree murder chargers? Do you really need to read a Hallmark card from a people-pleasing columnist who dresses in a suit and writes (in boxers) to tell you the obvious?

We should all pray for the Lloyd family for their loss. We should hope that if Hernandez is found guilty that justice is served. And we should praise the New England Patriots organization for taking a tough stance on their former player regardless of the outcome of the trial because his numerous brushes with the law were a distraction and bad influence for the team.

Did you really need me to write all that? Would you have not felt that way if Suit Man didn’t say it? Do you need instructions on how to live like a human being? Does it make you feel better?

It doesn’t do jack for me, but we all know folks who need some operating instructions. While it depresses me that this is the case, I’m sure there are plenty of people who see my ignorance on display in other aspects of life and grow more despondent.

I guess we’re all in the same boat.

The most selfish reason I’m sad about Hernandez is that we’re watching a human being put his special talent in jeopardy. Hernandez has the skills to lead the NFL in receiving as a tight end. If the conditions were right for him to get fed the ball as the primary option in New England, he could have had 100-plus receptions, 1200-plus yards, and 10-plus touchdowns.

Every football man with a clue that I’ve read, listened to, or interviewed loved Rob Gronkowski, but they lit up when talking about what Hernandez brought to the Patriots. Most prominent among them were Greg Cosell and Bill Parcells. Other than Hernandez, I’ve never seen a tight end who could play running back and get the perimeter, run through a linebacker or safety, get separation against a press corner, and then juke him to jelly after the catch.

One of the most beautiful things to witness in life is to watch a human being perform at his best. It’s why wasted talent angers me. I’m not including the person with great talent who opts not to use it because he or she doesn’t love the field where this talent is applied. That’s a reasonable choice.

There’s still an arraignment ahead for Hernandez and likely a trial. There’s a lot more to learn about the Lloyd murder and Hernandez’s involvement. But there’s another thing tangential to this case that saddens me and it got me thinking of a variety of seemingly disparate news items that share a common link .

We’re going to see another tatted-up professional football player of color on camera 24/7 about something that has nothing to do with the NFL or the color of his skin, but many in this country will make it so. You don’t think so? You’re probably seeing things from a guileless and ignorant perspective.

We're ready to go deeper than the Cliff's Notes when it comes to the race discussion. Photo by Jen Waller.
We’re ready to go deeper than the Cliff’s Notes when it comes to the race discussion. Photo by Jen Waller.

Let’s talk Paula Deen.

I’ve lived in Georgia for 33 years. I’ve been to Savannah numerous times. I grew up in Atlanta while it was transforming from a southern city to a northern city located in the south. It hasn’t completed the transition just yet, but just know that if you think you’ve been to the south because you’ve visited Atlanta then I need to tell you that what you got was the Cliff’s Notes version with key pages torn out.

But this isn’t just about the south. I remember the first time I heard the word nigger and it wasn’t from some stars and bars-waving, tobacco-chewing, southern Baptist. It was from a Genesse-drinking, stars and stripes-waving  navy veteran, and blue-collar Jew from Cleveland, Ohio.

In fact, I heard the word nigger a lot more in Cleveland, Ohio before I was 10 years-old than I did my next 10 years in Atlanta. Hell, take some areas of Pennsylvania, New York, or Boston and have the people trade clothes and accents with your favorite, hateful southern stereotypes and you’d never be able to tell them apart.

We could have a game show. Dick Clark would have been the perfect host. 

This scene from Gran Torino was as true to life of my experience growing up in the north as anything I’ve ever read or seen in fiction or film [Idiot-Proof Warning: This scene is not safe for work viewing] 

[youtube=http://youtu.be/VXD8yOxIPB0]

This kind of racism is not a regional thing. But there is a desire by many to always point to the south as the only place in our country where we have a race problem. If that’s what you think, you don’t truly know a person of color or you’re walking around with your hands shielding your eyes.

“The difference between the north and the south,” as one of my teachers told me over 25 years ago, “is that you can see the ignorance and hatred coming from a greater distance. I’d rather live where I can see my enemies coming.”

I didn’t want to believe him, but my time in the south has taught me that this region is often guileless about racism. Deen’s description of her great-grandfather’s reaction to his slaves being set free and Ta-Nehisi Coates’ analysis of the situation is spot-on:

Perhaps it expects that they will be savvy enough to not propose Sambo burgers or plantation themed weddings. But this is an embarrassment at airs, not the actual truth. When you watch the video above, note the people cheering and laughing. For those without video, here is what was said:

“Between the death of his son and losing all the workers, he went out into his barn and shot himself because he couldn’t deal with those kind of changes,” Deen said at a New York Times event. Deen, owner of a restaurant empire, asserted the owner-slave relationship was more kinship than cruelty

“Back then, black folk were such an integral part of our lives,” said Deen. “They were like our family, and for that reason we didn’t see ourselves as prejudiced.”

 She also called up an employee to join her onstage, noting that Hollis Johnson was “as black as this board” — pointing to the dark backdrop behind her. “We can’t see you standing in front of that dark board!” Deen quipped, drawing laughter from the audience.

 At the same event, Deen at one point described race relations in the South as “pretty good.” “We’re all prejudiced against one thing or another,” she added. “I think black people feel the same prejudice that white people feel.”

Here is everything from Civil War hokum to black friend apologia to blatant racism. And people at a New York Times event are laughing along with it.

This morning, I showed this video to my wife. My wife is dark-skinned. My wife is from Chicago by way of Covington, Tennessee. The remark sent her right back to childhood. I suspect that the laughter in the crowd was a mix of discomfort, shock and ignorance. The ignorance is willful. We know what we want to know, and forget what discomfits us.

There is a secret at the core of our nation. And those who dare expose it must be condemned, must be shamed, must be driven from polite society. But the truth stalks us like bad credit. Paula Deen knows who you were last summer. And the summer before that.

Such a tough subject. Deen’s behavior infuriates me, but I don’t think the response by her employers is the best one for our society. I agree with Al Sharpton, Bill Maher, and Pastor Gregory Tyson, Deen should not have been fired from her TV jobs for her remarks.

Most corporations with an employee who displays this behavior are sent to sensitivity training. I think Deen should have been offered the same opportunity as a condition for employment. Suspend her, require her to undergo training, and give her an opportunity to develop greater understanding about the world rather than her insulated ideas about people of color.

Don’t take her job. Years ago, this might have been the brave thing for a corporation to do. Now, I think it’s the easiest.

[Updated Thought]: Now that I’ve seen the full extent of the charges against Deen and her brother, I’m more ambivalent about the reaction of her media employers.

Paula Deen, while planning her brother’s wedding in 2007, was asked what look the wedding should have.  She replied, “I want a true southern plantation-style wedding.” When asked what type of uniforms the servers should wear, Paula stated, “well what I would really like is a bunch of little n*ggers to wear long-sleeve white shirts, black shorts and black bow ties, you know in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around;

Black staff had to use the back entrance to enter and leave restaurant;

Black staff could only use one bathroom;

Black staff couldn’t work the front of the restaurants;

Brother Bubba stated his wishes: “ I wish I could put all those n*ggers in the kitchen on a boat to Africa”;

Bubba asked a black driver and security guard “don’t you wish you could rub all the black off you and be like me? You just look dirty; I bet you wish you could.” The guy told Bubba he was fine as is;

Bubba on President Obama: they should send him to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, so he could n*gger-rig it;

He shook an employee (Black again) and said” F your civil rights…you work for me and my sister Paula Deen;

Paula’s son Jaime’s best friend managed the Lady & Sons restaurant. He threatened to fire all the ‘Monkeys’ in the kitchen. When Paula found out…she slapped him on the wrist and suggested that the employee visited Paula’s $13,000,000 mansion so he felt special and could be massaged.
– See more at: http://www.blacklegalissues.com/Article_Details.aspx?artclid=7dfdbe0461#sthash.aXj8rwFV.dpuf

If I heard that an employee engaged in this type of behavior, he would have been subject to far more discipline and training than what Deen did with her employees because I know that the entire company would be liable for this behavior if I didn’t. More over, preventing this behavior in the future for the benefit of employees and customers is the most important thing.

However, it doesn’t change my perspective that some of this behavior can have been handled in a more proactive constructive way before they evolve into situations like these where ignorance is not only unchecked but encouraged. If Bubba Deen’s behavior is truly a reflection of Paula Deen’s viewpoint then she deserved her firing – especially if their rules violated the civil rights employees.

Still, there an aspect of cowardice with how our society has gotten to a point where we have a much more open environment to address the subtlety of these issues but we still overreact with broad strokes. It’s one of the things that liberals are the most guilty of doing and I think corporations succumb to this pressure because it’s about short-term revenue.

It also further alienates the person for his or her ignorance when we need to embrace them and give them a chance to learn things they truly didn’t realize.

Ignorance is the root of hate, but one can be ignorant and have good intentions. But there’s so much shame with the word “racist” that we fail to address the bigger problem ahead for our society: How to alleviate the pervasive ignorance of racism without shaming them as hateful people.

It’s an ingrained problem with our society and where the north and south may differ is that there seems to be more guileless racism down here.

Two years ago my wife, a dark-skinned woman whom Jene Bramel has nicknamed “Paulette” – worked for a global firm with branches in Athens and another in Gainesville. She had this conversation during a business lunch with colleagues from both branches – both white women. “B” is the white woman from Gainesville who never met my wife. “A” is my wife’s white co-worker from Athens. “C” is another black woman mentioned during the conversation:

B (Gainesville employee speaking to my wife): After speaking with you on the phone I was surprised when A told me you were black because you sounded like you were white. We could tell you were raised right. I mean really there are black people and there are niggers.

P (My wife): I completely agree with you and in the spirit of team alignment, let me give you some advice. Do not ever in life ever make that statement to another black person, ever. You are correct about my upbringing, which is why I have not kicked your ass.

B (Slack-jawed): What do you mean?  I’m just saying you and C (another black employee) are different.

P: No. Your perception of black people is what’s different. C and I are normal black people. Because you don’t know that, you’re the only nigger at this table. 

B: What? I’m white . . .

P: Nigger means ignorant, love.

B: I’m gonna look that up (looking it up on her iPhone) . . . Damn, it does!

P: It’s ok, I’m still going to have lunch with you even though you’re a nigger, because you’re different.

These women weren’t hateful; they were ignorant. And as much as I’d like to label them as such, they aren’t the gap-toothed, redneck, southern stereotypes, either. I’ve had similar conversations about the word nigger with people equally ignorant as these Georgians and they lived in Cleveland, Denver, Philadelphia, New York, and Boston.

Unfortunately, when these guileless racists see people of color who they can relate to, they see them as exceptions to the subconscious rules that they have learned from mass media and older generations of family and friends – people who had limited or no exposure to black people. If they had regular interactions it wasn’t  beyond the accepted social interactions of the Pre Civil Rights Era where it was dangerous for most people of color to act anything less than subservient around white people for fear of the impunity with which white people could respond.

If you’re a minority in the U.S., odds are you’ve had to develop a level of awareness of how to deal with this ignorance. It becomes attuned to a degree where you can sense an awkward, inappropriate, or even dangerous situation brewing. If you’re not a person of color; a Jew or Muslim; or a homosexual, then it’s probably more difficult to understand because you didn’t have to read the subtleties of this behavior and respond. Of course, if you were raised with an alcoholic, you probably learned to read the signs of something bad brewing. It’s a similar thing.

White people have this danger-response mechanism, but I think our white-majority society has warped the collective mechanism. My wife often  jokes that white society is often so out of tune with the danger-response mechanism that it extends to how they approach wild animals – especially those in zoos and aquariums. She shares a story about a trip to Sea World:

I took Chandler and her friend to see Shamu. One of the tricks featured the whale swimming around the pool for a lap or two and then emerged from the water and landed on a platform near the front row. He then “smiled at the audience.” He did that once and then the trainer tried to get Shamu to go to the next trick. Shamu jumped into the water and swam off. The trainer joked that Shamu wanted the trainer to chase him. The trainer tried to corral the Shamu and the killer whale continued to swim away from him and hop back on the platform and smile while slapping his tail into the water.

The first time it happened, I thought it was part of the show. The second time, the trainer looked a little bit concerned. The third time, Shamu jumped into the water the opposite direction of the trainer and it was clear he was not listening to the trainer at all.

I looked at the girls and said, “Shamu is not doing okay today. It’s time to go.” We were sitting in the front row and I was not in the mood to have a killer whale that was off his medication land on my head because he was tired of his trainer. When I dragged the kids out of there, I looked behind me and noticed two other black couples had done the exact same thing. We exchanged a nod of acknowledgement kept it moving.

What we’ve since learned about Orcas in captivity is that it’s a lot like being locked up in a Supermax prison. They go crazy.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/8OEjYquyjcg]

But race has often warped everyone’s danger-response mechanism. Just as some white people see a black teen in baggy jeans and an over-sized t-shirt and sense danger, my wife gets on edge when she sees a white teen in an Abercrombie t-shirt carrying a backpack.

It’s white kids from privileged backgrounds that make me nervous! If a black kid has an anger problem and his mom pisses him off, he’s probably going after his momma. If a white kid with an anger problem has his momma piss him off, he blows up a school or a movie theater!

My wife and daughter encountered three white kids dressed like this at the mall a couple of years ago as they all entered an elevator. One of the kids was holding a backpack with both hands in front of him. Without saying a word, my wife and daughter got off the elevator before the doors closed and left the mall. Is this any different from the white woman who suddenly locks her car door in the parking lot of a grocery store after she sees a black teen walking across her path?

What about caramel-skinned NFL player with tattoos like Colin Kaepernick? I have to think the Hernandez trial will reinforce the guileless ignorance that the 49ers QB was on the receiving end of this summer.

I was that white boy. She was that black girl. For reasons good, bad, or otherwise, we’re all warped by race in this country. The question is how do we have the conversation without hatred or shame?

The good thing is that more and more of us are managing to do so.

The 2013 RSP “Mocking the Mock”

If football were more like the rasslin' she grew up watching with her grandfather, Paulette Mooney would be more interested in doing a full mock draft. Photo by John Jewell.
If football were more like the rasslin’ she grew up watching with her grandfather, Paulette Mooney would be more interested in doing a full mock draft. Photo by John Jewell.

I don’t do mock drafts. I have nothing against them. If I had more time, I’d probably get into them. They’re entertaining. And you can’t get much more entertaining than a Greg Cosell mock, unless of course you get my wife’s commentary layered over top – Paulette Mooney style with a Billy ‘Superstar’ Graham sensibility.

Reader Advisory: If you approach this NFL event as a Holy Day – avoid this sacrilegious piece. Otherwise . . . 

My wife doesn’t watch football much. They outlawed too many of the techniques that she thought were perfectly reasonable:

  • Clotheslines
  • Spearing
  • Headbutts
  • Eye Gouges
  • Horse Collars

You need to understand that my wife grew up in the country and was raised “country strong,” along the lines of Steve McNair. She tore her Achilles’ in January and ditched the crutches the next day and the walking boot the day after. She’s tired of hearing about “poor Kobe Bryant” because she’s already walking in heels and beginning an exercise regimen. The orthopedist asked if he could write something about her – I’m not kidding.

This is the mentality of a woman who grew up with a grandfather who worked at a sawmill most of his life and a social worker grandmother (think a more sophisticated and urbane Madea from Tyler Perry) who was given all the “hard cases” to straighten out. Farm life, fixing houses, and trying to avoid her grandfather’s tonic of lemon juice and moonshine when she got sick made her country strong. It’s the best I can explain about a woman who ran a 11.2-second, 100 and has a 19-foot long jump to her credit when her ‘warm up’ consisted of a pre-event cigarette.

Jene Bramel calls my wife Paulette Mooney, because much of her commentary veers into the realm of Paul Mooney’s comedy. Now that you understand a little about Paulette Mooney, here’s what went down when I explained a mock draft using Greg Cosell’s as an example.

I could only keep her attention for the first 18 picks before she was off to re-flooring the kitchen and re-facing kitchen cabinets. But if you know her – that’s an impressive number.

1. Kansas City Chiefs – Central Michigan Offensive Tackle, Eric Fisher:

Paulette stares at the photo of Fisher at the top of the Cosell article.

“Is that him? He looks like he could take out a tree – and he’d enjoy it . . . Oh my God, you know all those Army-Navy commercials to brainwash all the kids to join? [She begins to sing] Be proud, be strong . . . maybe it’s just the jersey with all those stars on it messing with me.”

“He’s fast, too,” I tell her.

Paulette rolls her eyes and responds with her best imitation of a sports anchor talking about Robert Griffin.

“Is he articulate, too? I bet he has such a good speaking voice – like Obama.”

My real take on Eric Fisher

Paulette agrees with Joeckel's dad. Photo by Zennie Abraham.
Paulette agrees with Joeckel’s dad. Photo by Zennie Abraham.

2. Jacksonville Jaguars – Texas A&M Offensive Tackle, Luke Joeckel:

Paulette squints at the name and makes a face.

“That’s a trailer park last name. Sounds like a guy I’d watch on ‘My Name is Earl’. I love that show. But he looks like he’s too nice”

“His dad once told him that he could be as nice as he wanted off the field, but to be mean on it.”

“I’m with pops on that philosophy . . . “

“I know – I’m already trying to figure out a way to keep us from getting banned from high school games if we have a son who plays.”

3. Oakland Raiders – Florida Defensive Tackle, Shariff Floyd: 

Defensive tackle?”

“Yeah, they’re also often called ‘Nose Tackles’ they play across from the guy snapping the ball . . . “

“You mean you can go for people’s noses? I like that . . . ‘Sharrif,’ that’s a city name from up north.”

“Good guess. He’s from Philly – we really need to enter you into a contest.”

Paulette takes a look at Floyd’s highlights on YouTube.

“Some ugly uniforms . . .”

“When it comes to being a resident of Athens, there’s some hope for you yet.”

“He can manhandle some folks though. He and that Fisher guy are some corn-fed boys. You want some con-fed mother&%*@!$%.”

4. Philadelphia Eagles – Oregon Outside Linebacker Dion Jordan:

[youtube=http://youtu.be/FzQBOBoPg04]

“Dion? You gotta be strong to be a dude name ‘Dion’,” Paulette laughs and begins singing. “What do you get when you fall in love . . .”

“That’ ain’t right.”

Paulette looks at highlights of Jordan sacking Brock Osweiler last year.

“Who is that team in black?”

“Arizona State”

“They look like a S.W.A.T. team gone bad.”

“Remember that article I had to write that kept us from going to that Barry Manilow concert you wanted to see? [Editor’s note: Thank you, Football Outsiders]

“Yeah. . . now I don’t like him. He’s smooth though . . .who was the other guy you had in that article?”

“Barkevious Mingo.”

“Unnhhh. Is he in this mock?”

“Yep.”

“Alright then . . . I got something to say about him and his mom, later.”

My real take on Dion Jordan

5. Detroit Lions – Oklahoma Offensive Tackle Lane Johnson:

“Well, thanks to his mom, he’ll get job with that name once he blows his Achilles’ tendon.”

“Lane? Really, you like that name?”

“That’s a nice name. That’s a dude I’d call if I got a speeding ticket.”

“Why?”

“It sounds professional, but kind of shady – just shady enough that he’ll get you off.”

Eifert and Ike Turner? Only with Paulette Mooney. Photo by Neon Tommy.
Eifert and Ike Turner? Only with Paulette Mooney. Photo by Neon Tommy.

6. Cleveland Browns – Notre Dame Tight End Tyler Eifert:

Paulette bursts into laughter.

“Who came up with the name ‘Tight end’?”

“Players who caught passes and were positioned at the end of the line were called ‘ends.’ The ones further away were ‘split’ from the formation and called ‘split ends’ the ones ‘tight’ to the line . . . “

“There’s nothing right about that name for a position – whether you’re a boy or a girl. And Tyler Eifert? What kind of name is that? All I can think about is Ike Turner saying, ‘Anna Mae!!!'”

“What?”

“I just see Ike whipping Tina’s ass in the back of a limo – I know that’s not funny, but in hindsight it kind of is now that you see Tina getting the last laugh. You know, that Eifert must have some kind of game because if Ike fooled Anna Mae this guy must be the same deal in football terms – a sneaky ass whooper.”

“Well, if any analytics guys read what you just said, they’ll probably say it’s proof positive that they don’t need me to ‘eyeball’ players.’

“Anal-lytics? Tight Ends? Wide Receivers?”

“Yep.”

Paulette collapses onto the coach and curls into the fetal position. Her body is shaking as she muffles the laughter into a pillow.

My real take on Tyler Eifert

7. Arizona Cardinals – West Virginia Wide Receiver, Tavon Austin:

“Tavon Austin.  He’s short isn’t he?”

“If he’s picked here, he’ll be the shortest player ever picked this high.”

“Is he related to Spud Webb – that’s my boy. Even if he played at Wake. That’s all I’ve got to say about Tavon”

My real take on Tavon Austin

Who needs analytics or scouting if you can just tell what he does by his first name? Photo by Crawford Orthodontics.
Who needs analytics or scouting if you can just tell what he does by his first name? Photo by Crawford Orthodontics.

8. Buffalo Bills, Outside Linebacker Barkevious Mingo:

I bet he’s fast.”

“Why?”

“With that name he did a lot of running as a kid.”

“Oh Lord . . .”

“Tell his momma she needs to call me. We need to have a chat about resumes. How’s he gonna get paid outside of football with a name like that?”

“If he’s one of the [seemingly 5 percent] of NFL players who gets his finances right, he won’t need to. Check this out.”

[youtube=http://youtu.be/260jraqaArs]

“I LIKE him. He’s throwin’ people down and causing fights! That’s how a man gets paid! He has Taye Diggs’ teeth . . .can we fix him up with our daughter?”

“No.”

“Why not? “

“She has a boyfriend.”

“But he can’t even beat her in fantasy football.”

My real take on Barkevious Mingo

9. New York Jets – North Carolina Offensive Guard Jonathan Cooper:

“You’re a rising senior. Stay in school; get your paper.”

“But he’s really good. He stands to make a ton of money.”

“The other paper will still be waiting on you,” she says while looking at the highlights and commenting about the stupidity of long hair in football. “With a college degree he’ll be fine. If he gets hurt in the NFL he won’t get no money either.”

My real take on Jonathan Cooper

10. Tennessee Titans – Alabama Offensive Guard Chance Warmack:

“He’s a trailer boy, but his parents gave him a real name – good for him.”

Paulette guessed the UGA guys by their names. It's an intuitive thing. Photo by C. Vogle.
Paulette guessed the UGA guys by their names. It’s an intuitive thing. Photo by C. Vogle.

11. San Diego Chargers – Georgia Linebacker Alec Ogletree:

“All I can think of is Oglethorpe Street here in town.”

“Well he did play here in town.”

“Really? He’s one of our local kids? Why is he wearing a flag? This isn’t flag football? Georgia is always confusing me.”

My real take on Alec Ogletree

12. Miami Dolphins – Houston Cornerback D.J. Hayden

“Wait a minute, isn’t that who they’re talking about on TV?” Paulette watches Mike Mayock and Paul Burmeister hosting a mock draft on NFL Network.”That blond guy is about a second away from whistling through his teeth every time he uses a word with an ‘s’. A little distracting.”

“I hadn’t noticed.”

“Look at my husband trying to be nice. Good thing there’s no NFL team called the Sioux City-City Slickers. Every dog in a two-mile radius of a sports bar might come running. D.J. Hayden . . . what’s this about an island on the football field. There’s no island”

“Long story.”

“D.J. . . . Dee-Jay . . . All I can think of is this rap song from the 80s where the woman says ‘Dee-Jay please pick up the phone on the request line . . .’

“I knew there’d be an `80s reference dropped somewhere in here.”

“You know it!”

13. Pittsburgh Steelers – Georgia Outside Linebacker Jarvis Jones

“I like that name. It sounds like a Georgia name.”

“Why? [She’s right again]”

“Sounds homey and warm. He’s from some place like Illa – some place nobody ever heard of . . .”

“He plays here in town. I think he is an in-state guy,” I look it up and sure enough, Richland, Georgia.

“Richland? Have you heard of it?

“I’ve lived here all my life and never heard of it.”

Paulette watches some tape of Jones and points to the screen.

“I like sacks. Does he do that a lot?”

“Yep.”

That’s all I need to know.”

14. Carolina Panthers – Missouri Defensive Tackle Sheldon Richardson:

What’s his major? Chemistry?

“Why? His name?”

“Yeah. Sounds like anything, but ‘Sharrif’.”

“Agriculture?”

“And he’s not finishing?” Paulette looks at the highlights. “Yeah . . . he’s gone.”

15. New Orleans Saints – Utah Defensive Tackle Star Lotulelei”

“He’s one of them corn-fed guys. Do they have corn in Hawaii?”

“He’s Samoan. I guess this talent for names only applies to the continental U.S”

“I like him. He can tear people up.”

My real take on Star Lotulelei

All he needs is Whoppers. Photo by Mike Pettigano.
All he needs is Whoppers. Photo by Mike Pettigano.

16. St. Louis Rams – Alabama Running Back Eddie Lacy:

That’s my dog.”

“I know, you liked him over the North Carolina guy [Giovani Bernard]”

“You can’t tell me people that . . . nah, you can tell ’em. North Carolina is a basketball school. But that football program is getting better.”

“You know Lacy was out of shape and couldn’t finish his workouts.”

“He’s been eating too much of that supposed, ‘nutritious’ food. He needs some fat back and greens from the farm.”

“Like he needs a heart attack.”

“Just stay off Eddie and that work-out.  He’ll be fine. What’s his address? I’m going to send him some Whoppers with Cheese.”

My real take on Eddie Lacy

17. Pittsburgh Steelers – Alabama Cornerback Dee Milliner:

“Cornerback? They cover the wide recei – ” Paulette erupts into laughter.

My real take on Dee Milliner

18. Dallas Cowboys – Texas Safety Kenny Vaccaro:

“I like the name ‘Vaccaro’. Kennnaaaay . . . VaCCARRRRROOOO. I bet he has the Rico Suave thing happening. Is he covering wide ends, too?”

“No but tight ones.”

Paulette breaks into rhyme:

So please don’t judge a book by its cover
There’s more to being a latin lover
You got to know how to deal with a woman
That won’t let go
The price you pay for being a gigolo

Because he’s Kennnaaayy Vaccarrrrooo.

My real take on Kenny Vaccaro And yes, she really likes that song and likes his game.

Til next year . . .

[youtube=http://youtu.be/Nx64_N4AA04]

For (non-Paulette Mooney) analysis of skill players in this year’s draft class, download the 2013 Rookie Scouting Portfolio available now. Better yet, if you’re a fantasy owner the 56-page Post-Draft Add-on comes with the 2013 RSP at no additional charge and available for download within a week after the NFL Draft. Best, yet, 10 percent of every sale is donated to Darkness to Light to combat sexual abuse. You can purchase past editions of the Rookie Scouting Portfolio for just $9.95 apiece.

Character, Media, and the NFL Draft: A Sour Cocktail

It's a bad idea to evaluate a smile the way you critique his release. Photo by PDA.Photo
It’s a bad idea to evaluate his smile the way you critique his release. And I dare say that I’m more qualified than most of my peers when it comes to interviewing a perspective employee. Photo by PDA.Photo

I’m 43 years old. Since I was 15, I’ve held 16 types of jobs with 9 different companies. I’m not counting the four soul-sucking hours I spent as a stock boy at a Winn-Dixie.

On my lunch hour at that job, I walked out the door and kept walking. Two miles later, I made a beeline to the manager’s office at the apartment complex where I grew up. The next morning I was collecting trash and cleaning the grounds.

Yeah, I would have rather hauled other people’s garbage and take a blower to a parking lot filled with pollen that made “sinus irritation” an understatement than to stand around a grocery store all day. There’s considerable irony to this story once you learn that my wife and daughter have an ongoing joke that the two grocery stores in town are my mistresses: Kroger my ‘around the way girl’ and Earth Fare my ‘hippy chick’.  Other than work and home, these two places are where you can find me.

Good thing I wasn’t a star quarterback or the way I ended that job might earned this kind of headline:

 NFL Draft Analyst calls star quarterback ‘unreliable.’ Cites behavior of quitting jobs without notice among evidence.  

I’m only half-kidding. Although not a serious example of behavior that would even register amid the range of nitpicking stories on character that we read this time of year, it is an example of how a lack of context can alter the truth. A writer could easily speculate that a guy who walks off the job without notice is not the best candidate to lead a team.

Judging by what has been said about Cam Newton and Geno Smith, some writers relish a challenge. They examine smiles and facial expressions with the same fervor and methodology as tracking short shuttles and dissecting throwing motions. This is where their experiences as a football players fails them.

They fail to consider that the greatest amount of emotional maturation from childhood to adulthood happens between the ages of 16-25. This is when young people are given their first adult-level responsibilities. With new responsibilities comes new experiences.

And if you’ve been a human long enough, then you know that experience is the product of mistakes.

My career in the workplace didn’t start well.  Between the ages of 16 and 21, I walked off three of my first five jobs without notice. I could provide a convincing argument that two of those three walkouts were based on extenuating circumstances. However at the end of the day, I didn’t give notice and that is on me.

If I was a star quarterback and a private investigation firm was looking into my behavior, they might report to a director of scouting that I was unreliable, unprofessional, and immature. If a general manager opted to use these three adjectives to describe me in this context during a phone call or email with a draft analyst, I might be labeled a character risk and potential bust.

But what if I told you that those jobs were taken so I could practice my craft of quarterbacking at the only time of day where I had access to the tools and resources to get better?

What if you knew I woke up at 4:30 a.m. each morning during the summers, worked this part-time job until 1:30 p.m., and then from 2:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., I practiced without fail?

What if I told you that the company hired me after I told them of my scheduling needs and it was only after several weeks or months that the company’s needs changed. Rather than hiring someone for those needs, they gave me an ultimatum to either switch my hours or walk out the door and not come back?

Was I immature or were my priorities based on developing the skills of my future job over being flexible to the new terms of my present one? While I wasn’t a star quarterback, I was a musician who couldn’t practice after 8:00 p.m. without disturbing neighbors and needed my nights free to perform with others.

Even if the right answer is still being flexible, context is important.

If I was a college quarterback and this was a question clouding my character, I could only hope that those team-hired investigators were thorough. Even then, I’d have to wonder if those teams wouldn’t use these questions as a bargaining tool to drive down my stock and ultimately the price of my rookie contract.

Around the same time a college quarterback would be making the transition to a professional career, I was making mine. A couple of years earlier, I stopped performing music and changed career paths. My next five jobs were part of a 12-year career with the same employer.

I began as an entry-level employee while in school. Within a year I was a part-time supervisor and by the time I finished college, I was an assistant manager. Over that four-year period between the final years of my college life and the early years of my full-time professional career, I had probably interviewed, hired, trained, and disciplined a few hundred employees.

I made my share of mistakes. I made poor hiring decisions and I mishandled issues with clients, employees, and customers. In hindsight, most of these mistakes happened because I was young, inexperienced, and often immature.

There was a back I encountered 20 years ago whose physical skills and level of maturity reminds me of Christine Michael. This back ultimately had a successful career. Photo by SD Dirk.
There was a back I encountered 20 years ago whose immense physical skills and level of maturity reminds me of Christine Michael. This back ultimately had a successful career. Photo by SD Dirk.

During my brief time covering football practices a couple of years earlier, I encountered a star running back who was also displaying his own youthful immaturity. He rarely made it to post-practice interviews during his career.

His teammates intimated to me that their teammate was not a guy to be counted on. I got a sense that they didn’t like him very much. It wasn’t what they said, but how they said it. They rolled their eyes, shook their heads, and made dismissive sighs when I asked if this lead dog of the Georgia football team would be coming to the assigned sessions.

What they would say in conjunction with their physical displays of dissatisfaction was He’s never on time. I also had a friend who had a class with the runner. He told me stories about this future first-round pick of the Arizona Cardinals, including how the back spent more time carving his name into the desk rather than listening to the teacher.

I had good info to write about his immaturity before he was drafted, but I didn’t think it was worth discussing. I knew lots of students who came to class hung over, slept through lectures, or did half-hearted work with their assignments and still transformed into quality professionals in their respective careers. Why should Garrison Hearst be any different?

For all I really knew, Hearst’s teammates liked him even if they didn’t like that he was often late or a no-show to after-practice press sessions. It’s not hard to imagine that Hearst cared more about football than an interview or an English class. During my 20’s I thought Hearst was a slacker, but 20 years later and with a lot more life experience and perspective, I have a different view.  One of those experiences happened just a couple of years later.

Imagine being 22 or 23 and months away from earning a first-round contract with a professional football team. Better yet, imagine being 22, winning $5 million in the lottery, and going to work in a job that you don’t like. How difficult it must be to stay focused when what you’re doing won’t make a real difference in how you will earn the majority of your money?

Just like any of these prospects, we know the right answer: keep the straight and narrow. But it doesn’t change how difficult it is to maintain these priorities. Even if the fear of becoming academically ineligible during the season and watching one’s draft stock plummet might seem like a strong enough deterrent, it wouldn’t be easy.

I know it wouldn’t.

When I was 24 and two months from graduating from Georgia with dual majors in English and Spanish, my company promoted me to a full-time position at the time I was also headlong in a serious relationship with a woman who was moving in with me. That 500-level linguistics course that was 2.5 hours per session and taught in the native language by the head of the Spanish department three times a week was the lowest priority in my life.

I was in love. This was one of my last two classes. And I was getting paid.

And if you knew how little I was making, then you would realize the depths of my immaturity. I thought I could juggle it all. Only when I learned (all too late) that the final exam in this course had material on the front and back of each page did it hit me that I wasn’t thinking straight.

I failed the test, earned my first-ever D in the last class of my academic career, and settled for a major in English and minor in Spanish.

Someone I know and trust (and so do you if I told you who it was) with connections to a college program that has a marquee player entering this 2013 NFL class told me that this player barely emerged unscathed from a  similar scenario. When I heard about this, I understood the difficulty of maintaining one’s focus and priorities.  And he really is about to get paid! 

This prospect is dedicated to learning the game of football, but he lacked the maturity to keep his academics from becoming a potential problem that could have hurt him and his team. This probably earned the ire of his teammates and coaches. It’s the type of situation that could have been leaked to the media in a way where a writer could deem the prospect as “not well-liked,” or “lacking a good work ethic.”

Would you take a chance on a player in his early 20’s who works his ass off in practice and the film room, but had issues balancing his priorities with the classroom? In the scheme of things, I’d say it’s non-issue.

It became a non-issue for me. My immaturity as a student and young employee wasn’t fatal to my career. My successes outweighed my failures and I eventually became an operations manager, then a director at this company.

I can safely estimate that by the time I transitioned from a career in management to a writing career, I had interviewed, trained, and managed thousands of people ranging from entry-level employees to middle management. I was one of the few people in our company’s history who had a dual role as an operations manager and primary client contact.

I wasn’t a corporate superstar, but I was good at my job. I bet my career experiences are no different from many of you reading this.

If you have at least 10 years of experience as a manager in an environment that is a mix of blue-collar and white-collar cultures then you have probably faced unusual situations in your jobs where the everyday priorities of production, efficiency, and quality paled in comparison:

  • Bomb threats.
  • Fist fights between entry-level employees.
  • A broken windshield courtesy of a disgruntled former employee who was fired because I wouldn’t allow him to sexually harass employees.
  • Workplace romances.
  • Challenging and dysfunctional client relationships.

Despite the way I make it sound, most of my employees enjoyed working with me and these crazy situations above were rare events. Like most, the workplace has its headaches and if you’ve worked long enough then you’ve seen things you’d never think would happen.

It’s these experiences that add perspective about human nature. The capacity for a young adult to undergo a quick maturation is one of those major lessons.

Whether it’s the NFL, a blue-collar job, or Corporate America, there’s nothing like looking Career Death in the eye  to grow up fast. It happens to everyone. What’s even more profound is when you are given the responsibility as Career Death Incarnate to a soon-to-be former employee.

One of my worst days as a manager came when I had to fire a young woman who was avoiding her assignments. Even when she was working, she mistreated customers. During her firing, this part-time employee told me she had been recently been diagnosed with a treatable form of cancer. She was afraid to tell her mother, who had also been diagnosed just months earlier.

Although paling in comparison to her situation, firing someone dealing with cancer was not a good day in my life.

As unbelievable as it seems, she dropped by the office a few weeks later to ‘thank me for firing her’. Apparently, our conversation motivated her to find a job in an environment better suited to her needs. She told her mother about her cancer and it brought them closer. It was a blessing for them – and a minor, but rare blessing that she took the time to share it with me.

The experience of getting fired helped her make changes in her life. Her mistakes put her on a road towards gaining the maturity needed to make her life more fulfilling. This maturation in the face of a career death – parallels what many young NFL players face.

If there's a player who looked Career Death in the eye multiple times and matured, but still was far from a perfect professional and role model, Favre tops the list. Photo by Elvis Kennedy.
If there’s a player who looked Career Death in the eye multiple times and matured, but still was far from a perfect professional and role model, Favre tops the list. Photo by Elvis Kennedy.

I think Garrison Hearst stared Career Death in the eye a few times. The first-round pick of the Cardinals (third overall) had a rough start to his career. He drew the ire of Buddy Ryan, who once gave Hearst a wheelbarrow filled with sand to tote around practice after his rehab from a knee injury wasn’t going as fast as Ryan believed it should.

Eventually, Hearst had to fight is way from the bottom of the Bengals depth chart to split time with Kijana Carter. Even then he wasn’t offered a contract on par with Eric Bienemy. Hearst’s agent had to fight hard for the 49ers to even give Hearst a shot and when the former Georgia star began camp in San Francisco, Terry Kirby was the starter.

This all happened before Hearst had an ankle injury that was so bad – and complications during recovery that were even worse – that most players would have never seen a field again. Hearst’s experiences made him a battle-tested professional.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/5dgrjrp6jXE]

Physically, Hearst could have made this run early in his career but I believe the adversity he overcame made him mentally prepared to finish a 96-yard run in overtime.

But the maturity to be a prepared professional and a media-savvy one was something that Hearst never learned during his career. When asked about the idea of gays in the locker room, Hearst’s growth as a professional didn’t include dealing with people:

“Aww, hell no! I don’t want any faggots on my team. I know this might not be what people want to hear, but that’s a punk. I don’t want any faggots in this locker room.” 

While I don’t like Hearst’s views (at that time of his life) and perhaps someday these views will (hopefully) pose a greater problem to a team, I’m more concerned about whether a player will show up to work on time and give 100 percent to his job.

If you’ve worked with or led a group of people, you learn that not every member of a team is likable or reliable in situations outside the job. However, when it comes to his specific job, there may be few who are better.

I can think of several examples from my work experiences. These were people who made youthful mistakes before their employment or even had major issues on the job, but grew up and became good at what they did:

  • The trumpet player who removed his wedding ring before every gig, but was always on-time, demonstrated great range, and read everything right the first time. 
  • The short-order cook who would have gotten punched out by a customer if he had to ever deal with one, but never messed up an order and could balance multiple tickets at a time.
  • A former employee, who had a DUI charge reduced and expunged from his record as a teen, but a creative, reliable, and resourceful analyst.
  • A co-worker who was in a string of bad relationships and was once disciplined due to an inappropriate relationship with another co-worker that nearly got her fired before her career began, but eventually became a charismatic manager and teacher.

In a year or two, we might be able to add Christine Michael to this list. His displays of immaturity included sleeping through his Combine interviews. Still, it hasn’t  kept me from ranking him within the tier of future starters in this running back class.

I have no doubt that he can mature into a reliable player with a long, productive career. I also have no doubt that he could get cut and never fulfill his talent. However, based on my experiences with young adults, I would rather count on the likelihood that a young man is going to make mistakes and learn from them. Even commenting on it is a dangerous game because the weight it adds to an evaluation can be heavier than warranted.

Even if you’re a pessimist you have to concede that people often mature just enough to compartmentalize their flaws. At the very least they become good at preventing their issues from bleeding into their work long enough to address the issues and overcome them.  I know this was the case for me.

I shared my career history with you because I feel confident that my skills and experience have helped me become a decent judge of character. And if someone with my qualifications and experience is reticent to evaluate and judge a prospect’s personality and character when my available data is news clippings, press conferences, and second and third-hand reports, then why should anyone give credence to these assessments from other writers or television analysts who lack any real experience interviewing, managing, or leading adults?

Outside of well-documented problems involving drugs, alcohol, and violent crime, any members of media passing significant judgment on an NFL prospect’s character that changes the outcome of his evaluation  – even if they are eventually proven correct – are making a foolish decision on principle.

The fact is unless we look these players in the eye, ask them the tough questions, and have past experience as managers living with a player’s behavior – better or worse – as our employees, then we don’t know.

Sometimes it’s okay to say, I don’t know. 

For analysis of skill players in this year’s draft class, download the 2013 Rookie Scouting Portfolio available April 1. Prepayment is available now. Better yet, if you’re a fantasy owner the 56-page Post-Draft Add-on comes with the 2013 RSP at no additional charge. Best, yet, 10 percent of every sale is donated to Darkness to Light to combat sexual abuse. You can purchase past editions of the Rookie Scouting Portfolio for just $9.95 apiece.